fa·cade /fəˈsäd/ :an outward appearance that is maintained to conceal a less pleasant or creditable reality.
Today's society almost seems like a battle to be the best. Think about senior superlatives from high school: best dressed, best smile, best personality, just to name a few. We often strive to be so prim and proper on the outside while masking despair internally. We focus so much on looking like we have everything together, when in reality, who really has everything in order? Don't get confused by what it looks like. You never truly know how someone is feeling inside through their outward appearance. Consider celebrities like Robin Williams or people you may know that have committed suicide or suffered through depression. No matter the amount of money or accolades you have or don't have, mental health is nothing to dismiss. It is time out for putting on this "show." It is time for individuals to feel more comfortable expressing their sorrows. As a whole, we must start being intentional about consulting our mental welfare. Dig deeper into the trends that can be damaging to our souls. When someone asks me if I'm okay, my response is often, "I'll always be fine. I have no choice but to be." Even typing that statement hurts. Why do I feel like I have to put on this facade of being "fine." Yes, I will always be protected, but we have to learn the significance of weaker moments to prevent damaging destinations.
As a millennial, I am constantly battling with the standards and timelines I have set for myself by the influence of comparison. When I experienced depression in 2017, I don't believe anyone could tell. I was still all smiles, making jokes, and inspiring people along the way. I forced myself to put on this facade because I didn't want to look weak or be temporarily hypocritical with my words of motivation. It wasn't until I posted my second blogiversary video that I opened up about some of my sorrows from my current life situation. Looking back, that was slightly a cry for help. Although I was reaching the end of my depression, I still wasn't okay. I wasn't okay with not accomplishing my goals at the time I wanted to accomplish them. I wasn't okay with depending on others financially. I wasn't okay with not having a place to call my own. I wasn't okay with not being the best.
All in all, I am blessed to have experienced depression. I know some of you may be reading this like, "what is wrong with sis?!" but I can now say that although I still focus heavily on being an example to others throughout this journey, I am tired of the facades. It's okay not to be okay. It's okay to cry. It's okay to get fed up. It's okay to have a bad day. It's okay to see a therapist, counselor, or psychologist and still believe in divine power. We have to stop just telling people to just pray and trust God. Health and wellness is something that is multifaceted. It is a process that takes time, experience, and rooting.
"The soul that practices patience will master peace."
To end, here are some habits that I have created to help maintain my mental health:
1. Meditate
- I try to meditate at least 1-2 times a week. Simply to remind myself to breathe and take everything one moment at a time. This is the app I am currently using: Liberate: "the #1 meditation app for the Black, Indigenous, and People of Color community"
2. Take Breaks
- Sometimes life forces you to be hyper focused on fulfilling responsibilities. Please handle your business, but take time to watch that show, hang with friends, or read that book. Everything in moderation!!
3. Spend time Alone
- Get to know yourself, your values, and your needs. Prioritize self care at all costs. Throw on a face mask, turn up your favorite tunes, and vibe out! Everything doesn't have to be elaborate. Knowing God, knowing me and loving both has helped limit the desire to put on these facades. Continue to be kind and breathe! We're all just out here trying to thrive!
Please leave your favorite apps, tunes, products, and self care habits below! I hope this helped. #BeGreat
-Crooked Magnolia